posted 7-7-11
My kids have some friends who kind of blend in with the crowd. They can be over at the house mutliple times and I still have to ask who they are. Or I recognize the face but don't remember the name.
Tim wasn't like that. I still remember the first time I met Tim. Carly was in 7th grade. I went to pick her up at school. Not even sure why I was home. Maybe I was working from home that day. Doesn't even matter. What I do remember is Carly walking up to the car window and pointing out her friend a few steps away. She told me this was her friend Tim. I'm the mom who is always giving rides. And Tim needed a ride. Tim's mom was going to pick him up at the mall but could I drive Tim to the mall. A little skeptical, his mom is picking him up from the mall? They both swore to me this was the honest story. So I drove Tim to the mall.
I didn't really see Tim again until Carly's freshman year of high school. Tim wanted to date her. She said yes. Her first boyfriend. For valentines day she made him a chocolate chip cookie in the shape of a heart - last time I saw my heart shaped cookie pan. Unfortunately the romance didn't last much longer than the cookie - and I never did see my pan again.
One of Carly's big problems with dating has been she's friends first and then the guy will ask her out. She's always afraid that it's not going to work out and it will ruin the friendship. Or she's afraid they are going to break up with her. So what happens is she says yes, panics, breaks up with the guy and then it takes months before the friendship can begin again.
That's what happened with Tim. From what I knew they didn't talk all that much after that. I'd occasionally ask where my cookie pan was and she'd tell me she'd ask him. Tim started to date another girl a little over a year ago. A romance that lasted and Tim was happy. And from what I know Tim and Carly did become friends again, even if it was just a hello in the hallway in school.
It will be 2 weeks ago this coming Monday that Tim sent Carly a friend request on Facebook. They had been friends on Facebook at one time, and then they weren't. Not sure why the request at that time, guess we'll never know why, but Tim wanted to be friends. Carly didn't see the request that night. We were on vacation and she didn't have her laptop with her so she wasn't glued to a computer.
Tim never woke up that next morning. No one knows why. 17 years old. By all accounts a great kid, great son, great friend. And like that he was gone. Swim team, band. I'm sure a great future. I'm sure he thought he had a great future.
How does that happen? Why does that happen? So many unanswered questions.
And I cry. For him, for his family, for his friends. It's just touched me, and scared me.
A 17 year old shouldn't go to sleep one night and not wake up the next morning.
