What I Want...

I want...

...someone to love me
...someone for me to love
...someone to watch my back
...someone who accepts me unconditionally
...someone I can trust

But it's too late for me now.  I had my chances I just didn't know it.  And now the window has closed, the chapter is over.  It hurts.  To know what love feels like but to not have experienced it in years. 

Foolish choices that can't be taken back.  A life wasted.

So we come down to the question is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all.  This is not a love between a parent and a child or close friends.  This is the love between a man and a woman, or a woman and a woman, or a man and a man (I think you get what I'm talking about here).  It's the amazing closeness that these two people feel for each other that cannot be described.

If you have never loved then you have missed out on one of lifes great emotions.  A feeling of euphoria, of well being, of calm.  It is the greatest feeling I have ever known.  Which makes it all the harder when that love is gone. I know what it's like and I miss it terribly.  But to have never loved at all?  I think my life would be even emptier to have never had that experience.  But it also makes me wish for it again but feel that my time has passed. I didn't realize what I had when I had it.  I should have nurtured it, not taken it for granted.