My life forever changed, Tuesday morning at 1:10 a.m. Those words from my niece Stephanie, “I have some bad new” “my mom died” will haunt me forever. How? Why? It was too soon, we still had years, she must be wrong. Those were my immediate thoughts. The shock as the words sunk in. And I soon realized that this was the thought of so many other people. The outpouring of love and support that all of us have received this week has just been overwhelming. We know how much Jackie meant to us but we never realized Jackie meant so much to so many people and how many lives she touched.
I want to thank all of you from all of us, from Stephanie, Lauren, my mom, Dave, me and my brother Jim. You just don’t know how much it means to us.
I’ve had the honor of knowing Jackie my entire life, not that I always thought it was such an honor.
I asked my mom for a memory of my sister and she tells me the one that stands out for her is Jackie dancing through the aisles at Jewel.
My brother Jim remembers Jackie’s generosity. Inviting him to her house for Christmas so he wouldn’t spend the day alone. Jim’s wife Sheri telling Jackie she collected a certain type of nativity set but was missing some pieces and Jackie dug out her set to give to Sheri. Minnesota may be known as the home of 10,000 lakes but not one Portillos. So out of the blue Jackie sent Portillos tamales up to Minnesota.
My husband Nick’s favorite memory is every Christmas she would make him his favorite cheesecake. In return he would make her biscuits and gravy every mother’s day.
Or her compassion and fierce loyalty. Last year when our cousin Mary Therese was slipping away there was my sister, every day whether MT was at home or in the hospital, praying, hoping and comforting her until the end.
For me it was her sense of humor. As most of you know she could be so quick with a punch line. Sarcastic, but never mean. I’ve tried but I could never quite match her wit. It could occasionally get us in trouble. One year Art made us apologize to our mom for the teasing we gave her one Thanksgiving. If we didn’t we wouldn’t be allowed back for another Thanksgiving.
One of the better stories is one I don’t even remember. When we were little she would take the pacifier out of my mouth at night so I would cry and my parents would come in upset at me. That was until the day they caught her taking it out of my mouth.
You know her being the oldest I would sometimes get jealous. She was the girl who never had to wear hand-me-downs. She had all the “firsts”. Her baby book was full, mine almost empty. But at some point my older sister changed into being my big sister.
We both had two daughters, but she was first there too. When I had Nicole, as I like to remind Nicole, I went through hours of backbreaking labor. After I had her I called Jackie from my hospital room and asked her, why didn’t you tell me it was going to be this bad? Her response was, mom told me not to.
But I looked to her when I had questions, needed help, didn’t know what to do and she was there. In the past ten years especially, she would just know it was time to call me, when she knew I needed to talk or to yell at me when I needed to be yelled at.
But it wasn’t always the important things either. We would text each other during Nascar races hoping our favorite driver, “not Kyle or Kurt” would win or discuss this week’s episode of Survivor. Would Gene and Shannon stay together on Gene Simmons Family Jewels? She and our cousin Mary Therese even took me to my first Springsteen concert.
Don’t get me wrong, she was my sister, and yes I would get mad at her, we’d have the occasional fights, but they never lasted long. And no she wasn’t perfect.
There were actually two things I knew of that frightened Jackie – spiders and roller coasters. There was a time when we lived next door to each other, Stephanie wasn’t all that old and there was a spider on the living room wall. I got a frantic phone call from both of them to come over and kill the spider. Being the good sister I was, I did.
My last conversation with Jackie was about me going to Disneyworld, an addiction fondness we shared. She offered to come with me. I told her I didn’t want to go with someone who would get off of Rock and Roller Coaster and cry for 15 minutes.
We all have our favorite Jackie stories I’m sure and they all bring smiles to our faces. She was a daughter, sister, best friend to many but most importantly a mom. Stephanie, Lauren – you know how much your mom loved you and I know the last thing she wanted was to leave you. She wanted you both to be happy, safe, loved.
And Dave. She dated you for quite a while before we even knew about you. That’s how much she loved you, she wanted to protect you from “the family”. But sorry, you are now part of “the family”.
She loved her nieces and nephews too. She was so generous with them and took great joy in teasing all of them and teaching them about life, in her own little way. Anytime something would happen in Nicole or Carly’s lives their first question was, you’re not going to tell Aunt Jackie are you? But of course I would, and they really wanted me to. When I asked Carly and Nicole for memories of their aunt they kept giving me stories that are well, better kept in the family.
It’s going to be really strange not having her there at family parties to liven up the place. The hole she leaves is tremendous.
The last gift my sister gave me was a single rose for Mother’s day. I found this poem and I’d like to credit the author, but I don’t know who it is and I did have to change the word mother to sister, but it works:
If Roses Grow In Heaven
If roses grow in Heaven Lord
Please pick a bunch for me.
Place them in my Sister's arms
and tell her they're from me.
Tell her I love her and miss her,
and when she turns to smile,
Place a kiss upon her cheek
and hold her for a while.
Because remembering her is easy,
I do it everyday,
But there is an ache within my heart
That will never go away.
1 comment:
I will always love you Lisa. Thank you for the beautiful tribute. You are the best sister anyone could've hoped for not because you are my only sister but because you are the one I had wished to have.
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